


Arata

by Twyd



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Alternate Ending, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Beginnings, Bonding, Brothers, Cats, Cute, Denial, Denial of Feelings, Developing Relationship, Drinking, Drunk Sex, Drunken Confessions, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fix-It, Fluff, Friendship, Growing Up, Humor, Injury Recovery, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Moving On, Pets, Post-Canon, Pre-Slash, Reconciliation, Relationship Advice, Slash, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-29
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2019-01-26 05:44:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12550464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twyd/pseuds/Twyd
Summary: A cat that looks like Izaya is hanging around Shizuo's apartment. This cannot end well.





	Arata

A cat is strolling around outside Shizuo’s apartment.

Shizuo generally likes cats. The non-evil, non-scratching kind, that is. He slows down as he approaches, wondering which category this cat falls in. The cat peers up at him curiously, tail swirling.

Deciding to take the chance, Shizuo squats and holds out his hand.

The cat looks at it almost contemptuously, before deigning to come close enough for Shizuo to pet its head.

It is a black cat with tawny markings on its paws and head, and unusually brown eyes.

“Huh,” Shizuo says, stroking behind its ears with two fingers. “You look kind of like Izaya-kun.”

He chuckles at himself out loud. Izaya, a cat. Where had that come from? He shouldn’t be so insulting to the poor thing. But there is something undeniably similar about the cat's expression, its markings and eyes, the way it was looking at Shizuo, as if they are familiar with each other.

“You don’t have a collar, but you don’t look like a stray. You live around here?”

The cat throws him a final look of contempt at this and slinks off into the night.

Shizuo chuckles again, letting him go. Definitely like Izaya.

-

The cat is there again the next night. And the next. And the next. Shizuo hopes it hasn’t been abandoned.

“If Izaya-kun had been a cat, he would have pissed me off a lot less,” Shizuo tells the cat as he squats down.

The cat flicks its tail understandingly.

“Why do you remind me of Izaya so much? Why do I even care?”

Izaya was long gone. Probably dead. The thought makes Shizuo feel sick, even now.

The cat presses up against him, as if sensing his unease.

Shizuo sighs and lets his hand fall away.

“See you, kitty.”

At the building entrance, however, Shizuo turns back to the cat on a whim and holds open the door invitingly. The cat looks as if its thinking about it, actually takes a few steps forward, before averting at the last minute and trotting off with its tail in the air.

Shizuo sighs. The building didn't allow pets anyway.

-

The next night, the cat is not in its usual spot outside the building, but right next to the front door itself.

Shizuo raises his eyebrows.

“You change your mind?”

The cat steps aside demurely so Shizuo can open the door.

“I might have to carry you,” Shizuo says.

He opens the door. There's thankfully no-one around. The cat doesn’t dart inside, only looks up at Shizuo expectantly.

_What are we waiting for?_

Shizuo breathes in, trying to pull his sleeves down over his hands. He’d learnt the hard way that even friendly, purry cats didn’t always appreciate being picked up.

He puts his arms around and under the cat, easing it against his chest. The cat suffers this with dignity. It digs its claws into Shizuo’s sleeve but doesn’t scratch.

“Careful. My brother gave me these clothes.”

He puts the cat down once they’re in his front room and lets it stroll around. It hops up on his table and starts cleaning itself. Himself. If Shizuo is going to invite him in, he may as well use the correct pronoun.

“I don’t even know what you eat,” he tells the cat, and takes out his phone.

_What do cats eat?_

Meat. Fish. Some vegetables. Bananas. Weird. 

He finds two small bowls he doesn’t use much and gives the cat some water and tuna. Digs an old, oversized sweater out of his closet that can serve as a blanket. Following instructions on the internet, he makes up a litter tray with an old newspaper and hopes the cat will figure it out.

The cat drinks, eats a little food, and spends the rest of the evening curled up on the couch, ignoring Shizuo completely.

“I’m not calling you Izaya,” he says out loud, because he still can’t get the informant out of his head.

The cat just shoots him an irritated look as if he didn’t have the right to call him anything.

-

In the morning, Shizuo opens the window, and as soon as he does, the cat darts out and lands on a neighbouring wall, taking off without a backward glance. Shizuo leaves the window open while he gets dressed, but the cat doesn’t return. He chuckles at his own sentimentality. Cats were like that. It probably had dozens of homes it could crash in.

He goes to work and tells Tom about the cat.

“There’s this cat hanging round my house that looks like Izaya.”

Tom laughs at him.

“You think he’s come back in another life for revenge?”

“Yeah, right,” Shizuo mutters, but he can’t help but wonder.

“How can a cat look like Izaya?”

“I don’t know. Just…its eyes, its markings, the way it looks at me.”

“You’re paranoid,” Tom tells him. “I hope you don’t hurt the poor kitty just because you can’t get Izaya out your head.”

“Of course not,” Shizuo says hastily. “And Izaya’s not in my head.”

-

The cat is waiting for him again that night. He lets Shizuo carry him inside, eats more food than the night before, sleeps on his bed and disappears again in the morning. And so a routine develops.

-

Aside from eating the food on offer and sleeping on Shizuo’s bed, the cat had been more or less ignoring Shizuo, but tonight it jumps on his lap while he’s watching TV.

“Hey,” Shizuo greets. He rubs its back. “Huh. If you were really Izaya, you’d have scratched my eyes out by now. Or you’d piss in my apartment and destroy stuff, or something.” He sighs. “You must think I’m so boring, going on about Izaya-kun all the time. I do have a life outside him, I swear. He’s not even in my life anymore.”

The cat purrs sympathetically.

 “But I wish you didn't remind me of him so much. It makes me so sad.”

-

One of the benefits of making a home for the cat was that it made Shizuo realise he has a lot of junk, and inspired him to have a clearout. 

He is going through his old photos when he finds one from a class trip. Izaya is between Kadota and Shinra,  around 16 years old, handsome as ever. He looks happy, normal, worlds away from what he goes on to become.

“That’s Izaya,” Shizuo tells the cat, who couldn’t care less. “He’d be 28 now. Or maybe he is 28, who knows. He might not be dead.”

Silence answers him. Who’s he kidding?

The cat rubs its head against Shizuo's hand to get him to start petting again.

“Maybe the universe is trying to tell me something,” Shizuo muses, stroking the cat. 

Maybe not. If Izaya really is alive, he would prove notorious to track down. And even if Shizuo did manage it, what on earth would he say?

-

Then the reporter comes to town, and he discovers Izaya is alive.

Shizuo doesn’t know how he feels about this. Better, definitely better, relieved he’s not a murderer after all, but at the same time, it ignites the restlessness he'd been trying to ignore.

“Where did you say he was living?” he asks the reporter.

“I didn’t, but he’s in the Kanto region.”

“Could you be more specific?”

“It’ll cost you.”

And it's that easy.

“What should I do?” he asks the cat, who is asleep.

 _Stop talking to animals is what I should do,_ he thinks.

He goes to bed and doesn’t sleep.

-

A little over a week later and he’s saying goodbye to the cat outside his building. For once, the cat doesn’t dart off as soon as it sets foot outside, as if sensing something is different. It eyes Shizuo’s bag and miaows anxiously.

“I’m going away for a few days,” Shizuo tells the cat. “Hell, maybe not even that. Gotta face some demons. If I can find him.”

The cat rubs against him affectionately.

“Bye, kitty. Wish me luck.”

-

Shizuo regrets it as soon as he’s there. He doesn’t know what it is, perhaps the unease of being alone in a new city. He needs more information, so he knows what he's getting himself into.

He swallows his pride and calls the reporter back, and after yet more haggling finds that Izaya has done good here, even better than in Ikebukuro. He’s practically king here. Shizuo wonders if the reporter is working for Izaya, but he doubts it. Izaya is smart enough to do well as he apparently has, and strong and stubborn enough to push himself even after suffering the very worst.

If Shizuo gets himself killed by a bodyguard or criminal gang, well, it’ll serve him right.

-

A man he vaguely recognises answers the door.

“Can I help you?”

“I’m looking for Orihara Izaya.”

“Regarding…?”

Shizuo blinks a bit. He stupidly hadn’t prepared for a gatekeeper.

“It was just a quick visit. I went to school with him.”

“What’s your name?”

“Kadota,” he lies.

“I’ll let him know you stopped by.”

A neutral reply, one that doesn’t even confirm the address. The other man’s face is completely blank. Shizuo wonders if his lie had been convincing. Probably not.

“I’ve come a long way,” he blurts. “And I took time off work. It would be really good if I could see him.”

“I wish I could help you. He’s not here,” he adds, as Shizuo glances almost subconsciously behind the other man. “But I’ll give him a call.”

“That’s OK,” Shizuo sighs. “I’ll - call him myself.”

He walks away kicking himself. This man would describe him to Izaya, and Izaya would either retaliate or just disappear.

Shizuo goes back to his hotel. It’s still early. He could go for a walk and see the place, make the trip worthwhile, but he can’t muster up the effort. He watches TV instead and orders room service. He finds himself missing the cat.

-

He leaves the next day feeling defeated.

The cat is nowhere to be seen, of course.

It doesn’t show up at the usual time the next day either, or the next day, or the next. Shizuo concludes the cat thought it had been abandoned and left. He’s been so stupid.

-

He’s barely been back a day when he gets a phone call from a private number. His heart jumps - but it's not Izaya.

“Kadota-san?” The voice is heavy with sarcasm. Shizuo presumes it is the man who answered the door.

“…yes?” Shizuo says, although if the man has his number, he obviously knows he isn’t Kadota.

“I just wondered what happened to you. Izaya-san said you didn’t call.”

Shizuo swallows.

“Why doesn’t Izaya call me himself?”

“I’m not sure.” There’s a pause. “Perhaps he’s waiting for you.”

“Can you give me his number?”

“I believe it’s the same number he’s always had. If you still have it.”

Shizuo goes through his contacts when he hangs up. The name is still there, always had been, he didn’t even notice it anymore. He tells himself he keeps it  _just in case_ , even though he knows the number off by heart, the way he knows his parents’ and Kasuka’s and Shinra’s: he’d called Izaya so many times in the past, when he needed to yell at the informant and he wasn't around. 

Shizuo puts down his phone and doesn’t call.

-

The cat comes back unexpectedly.

“Hey!”

It jumps a little at his tone, dropping back a few steps. Shizuo squats and holds out his arms, feeling only vaguely silly.

“Come on. I’m so sorry I left. I won’t go anywhere again, I swear.”

The cat gives him a deliberating look before allowing Shizuo to pet him. He even lets him pick him up.

“Thanks,” Shizuo says, burying his face in its fur. “You’re all I need to remember Izaya-kun.”

-

In his office, Izaya is typing in his wheelchair with a smirk on his face. He is working at the pace someone extremely talented may script a play, or design a city, enjoying himself thoroughly. He drums his foot as he works, a now painless habit he’d picked up without noticing. He chooses to ignore the significance of this progress whenever he does notice it.

Kine and Manami watch him from the door. They look at each other in silent agreement and step inside.

Izaya doesn’t stop working until they are hovering over him, sensing at once that something is up.

“…Mutiny? Took you long enough.”

They just look at him.

“Oh, God,” he says, reading their mood. “Even worse. An intervention.”

“Izaya,” Kine starts. “We think you should start thinking about physiotherapy.”

He goes off on a long list why this is justified. Izaya is young, healthy, strong-willed and now settled, Kine reasons. It’s been a long time.

Izaya switches off to think about his own reasons. He  _is_  settled. He'd grown close to Kine and Manami in a way he hadn’t even been with Shinra. He has a bigger apartment, more money, more respect, and a hell of a prettier backdrop than Ikebukuro. He gets their point. Maybe it is time.

“The thing is,” he says, when they’re done and clearly expect some sort of response. “I don’t know if I need therapy.”

He puts the laptop aside and stands without wincing. The motion is a lot smoother than it used to be.

“I’ve been sort of practising on my own,” he says, walking around to demonstrate. He is steady on his feet, able to move without pain. He had found some exercises online and had been surprised at how quickly he had been able to progress. He thought Shizuo had crippled him for life. Perhaps some of it really had been psychosomatic.

Kine and Manami look at him as if he is levitating.

“Why didn’t you  _say_?” Manami says.

He shrugs.

“I wanted to surprise you…?”

She rolls her eyes.

“Can you run?” Kine asks him. “You used to love running.”

“It’s next on my list.”

They both beam at him like he’s a child who decided to donate all his baby toys.

“This is such good news, Izaya. Moving on is important.”

“I know, I know.”

“I mean it,” Kine adds. “It’s about time you let go. There’s no point in punishing yourself forever.”

Izaya mumbles something vague. They are still standing there looking at him.

“You don’t want a group hug, do you?”

“I’m really happy for you, Izaya,” Manami says, too used to his snarks to get offended. She practically skips to the door. Kine also offers him a warm smile before leaving him.

Izaya stares after them, wondering why they like him so much.

He looks back at his laptop, but it suddenly seems less urgent now. He takes out his phone instead, thinking about what Kine had said.

-

Shizuo’s phone is ringing. He almost answers on autopilot when he sees whose name is on the screen.

"Shit," he says out loud. _Shitshitshitshitshit._

“What do I do?” he says to the cat, who takes no notice. “This is all your fault.”

He agonises for a couple more rings before picking up.

“Hello?”

“Shizuo.” It is Izaya this time. There's no mistaking it. “You were looking for me.”

“Yeah,” Shizuo says. His heart is racing. He can’t think of a thing to say. “I was just…” He trails off uselessly. He doesn't even know why he went looking for Izaya.

“Where are you now?”

“I’m back home.”

“In Ikebukuro?”

“Yeah.”

Izaya laughs, and the familiarity loosens his tension a little.

 “You didn’t look very hard, then.”

“No."

Izaya goes quiet, waiting him out.

“I just wanted to speak to you. It was hard tracking you down.”

“So speak.”

“In person, not on the phone.”

“I think I’ll pass, then.”

“Why?”

“Why not talk to me now?”

Shizuo sighs, sensing a stalemate.

“I don’t know,” he says. “Forget it.”

Izaya doesn’t hang up.

“Don’t come looking for me again, Shizuo,” he says, after a pause. “At least, not without calling first.”

“I can’t come again anyway.”

“Why not?”

“I got a cat.”

Izaya starts laughing again.

Shizuo looks at the cat as he talks. It is a little surreal, looking at the cat that so resembles Izaya while hearing Izaya’s voice. Then the penny drops.

“Are you saying I can come?”

“No.”

“Then what was the point in calling me?”

“What was the point in coming all the way out here just to turn back?”

Good question.

Shizuo listens to the silence on the end of the line. The cat curls up on his lap, purring.

“I’m sorry, Izaya.”

There, he’s said it. He hangs up.

He is on edge for the rest of the night, but his phone doesn't make a sound again.

-

All the lights are out in Izaya's apartment. He is in his wheelchair with the brakes on. Manami is in his lap, naked. 

"You - don't - need - this - stupid - chair," she gasps in between thrusts. "You wouldn't - ah - be able to - do this if you did."

"Why are you complaining, Manami? You seem to be enjoying yourself."

"Shut _up_."

He'll miss her when she goes back to Ikebukuro. He doesn't love her, she doesn't love him anymore, and so it's ironic that they chose to say goodbye like this. It is the first sex he's had in two years, more 'moving on,' but she doesn’t need to know this.

They stop bickering as they come apart, collapsing against each other. Yes, he thinks, he'll miss her, even if he is glad she’s moving on.

He holds her as best he can in the restraints of the chair.

"Maybe I should get a reclining wheelchair."

"Shut up, Izaya."

-

Shizuo buys the cat a collar. He knows some cats don’t like this, so he buys the softest one he can find and resolves to take it off at the slightest sign of discomfort.

The cat lets him put it on the next time he is in Shizuo’s lap, purring demurely.

“There,” Shizuo says, sitting back. “Now someone will always be able to find you if you disappear again.”

Now he just needs to name the damn thing. 

He looks at the cat thoughtfully. What did it look like? It looked like an Izaya. Shizuo sighs.

Part of him wants to call the non-cat Izaya back, but what for? He’d already apologised, and got no response.

Izaya calls himself, however, when Shizuo is still mulling over names for the cat.

“I may have some time free next month,” the informant says, with no preamble. “If you can come then. Bring the bloody cat if it’s such a problem.”

Shizuo hesitates. He's not sure the cat would like being in a cage for so long.

The cat looks up at him as if reading his mind, annoyed at being used as an excuse. 

“Sure,” Shizuo blurts.

"Great. Just give me a few days’ notice," Izaya says, and with that hangs up, as if ending a business transaction. 

Manami, who had pushed him into this latest development, is texting him frantically with multiple question marks.

 _-Don't get excited,_ he texts back. _-He'll probably kill me._

-

Shizuo buys a carrier for the cat. It was useful to have, anyway: he'd have to take the cat to the vet sooner or later to check he had all his jabs. If the cat seemed too distressed in there for this journey, however, Shizuo had prepaed Kasuka to stop by and top up his food and water. 

Everything is going to plan, when he gets a text from Izaya the morning he’s supposed to leave.

_You can’t come. Sorry._

Shizuo calls him, but it is instantly rejected.

Shizuo sighs. He wonders if something has genuinely come up, or if the informant is just getting cold feet. He thinks the latter is more likely.

He gives Izaya five minutes, then sends him a picture of the cat.

_Come on, he’s dying to meet you._

This at least gets a response.

_Hahahaha._

Then more nothing.

“Looks like we're not going on vacation after all,” he tells the cat.

His phone lights up again.

_-He's a cutie. What’s his name?_

_-He doesn’t have a name yet._

To his surprise, Izaya calls him then.

“What do you mean, he doesn’t have a name?” the informant says. “You’ve had him for a while now, haven’t you?”

“I’ll let you name him if you let me come.”

"Really?" This of all things seems to sway him. “How long for?”

“I don’t know,” Shizuo says uncomfortably. “You can kick me out whenever you want.”

“It’ll be a very short visit, then.”

“That’s fine.”

“...OK then.”

“Great. Don’t change your mind again. I won’t be checking my phone.”

-

The same guy as last time answers the door. Shizuo has no idea who he is, if he is Izaya’s bodyguard or friend or lover.

The man tells him he can let the cat out, and gets two bowls from a cupboard for him.

"He's in there," the man says, nodding to what appears to be a study door. "You can go in."

Shizuo knocks before pushing the door open, and just like that he is face to face with Izaya. The cat slinks between his legs, and Izaya drops his eyes and smiles as it trots up to him.

“So this is the nameless cat.”

“Yeah. He isn’t always very friendly,” Shizuo warns, thinking it won’t go down very well if the cat decides to take a slice at him. But the cat is in people-mode, purring away.

“Can I pick him up?”

“If he’ll let you.”

He lets him. Izaya pulls the cat up to his chest and leans back, cuddling up to him. Shizuo watches in bemusement. It feels slightly surreal. He waits for Izaya to make a joke about being surprised he hasn't broke the cat's bones with his brute strength, but it doesn't come. 

"You can sit down," Izaya tells him. He's still fussing with the cat. “Aw. You’re so cute,” Izaya says to it. His eyes are shining when they meet Shizuo’s again. “Can I keep him?”

“No.”

“Are you sure? You can’t even be bothered naming him.”

“He won’t let you keep him,” Shizuo says, although he’s not so sure. The cat looks more at home in Izaya’s arms than it had in the carrier. He feels a twitch of unease, even know he knows Izaya is joking.

Izaya sees and smiles.

“I’m joking, Shizuo.”

He releases the cat on to the table, who comes forward for Shizuo to stroke him.

“Did you invite me here just so you could play with the cat?”

“Kind of,” Izaya says, grinning.

“Why don't you get one, then?”

“A cat? Maybe. I’ve never had a pet.”

“It's not hard. If I can get the hang of it anyone can.”

They both look at the cat as if it is the sole purpose of their meeting.

“Your apartment’s nice,” Shizuo tells him, and means it. Izaya’s last place had been rather cold, sparse and unnecessarily huge, but this one has a more homely feel, as well as a spectacular sea view.

“Thank you.”

He watches Izaya stroke the cat, noticing that he moves without any obvious difficulty.

“It’s been a long time,” Izaya says, catching his gaze.

Shizuo nods. “There were a lot of rumours,” he starts. “I guess they were exaggerated.”

Izaya thinks of his wheelchair folded in the closet and says nothing.

“Who’s the butler?”

Izaya smiles at this.

“He’s no butler.”

“Bodyguard, then.”

“Not that either. He’s a friend. He’s here for moral support. What made you get a cat?”

"I didn't get him. He just sort of showed up one day. He reminded me of you for some reason."

Izaya looks up, bemused.

“Is that why you came?”

“Kind of.”

Izaya leans forward to stroke the cat around Shizuo’s hand, carefully avoiding his fingers.

“I saw a dog that looked like you once. A golden retriever, I think. Only it was really happy.”

Shizuo says nothing. Seeing them together, Shizuo is still adamant that the cat is like Izaya, the only difference being that the cat liked him, or at least tolerated him.

Shizuo lets his hand fall away.

“Well, I should get going.”

“How are my sisters?” Izaya asks suddenly.

“They’re good, I guess. I don’t see them so much these days. Don’t you keep in touch?”

“Now and then.They don't come out here much, and I'm not going back."

“Yeah, I don’t blame you. I mean,” he says, when he sees Izaya looking at him. “It’s so beautiful here.” He means it too. The city is worlds different from Ikebukuro.

Izaya shrugs.

“People are people,” he says. “I’ll see you out.”

They coax the cat back into its carrier, which isn’t as difficult as Shizuo feared.

“Was he really a stray?” Izaya says. “You’ve tamed him well.”

The other man looks over to them when they emerge, but Izaya gives him some kind of signal, and he goes back to his paper.

“You didn’t name the cat,” Shizuo says. This suddenly seems important.

-

Kine frowns at Izaya while Shizuo is in the bathroom.

“You’re not throwing the man out already, are you?”

“Well, what am I supposed to do with him?” Izaya hisses. “We don’t like each other and we have nothing in common. He’s only here for closure.” 

“You’re from the same city, the same school, with the same friends, and you both apparently like cats. I’m sure you can work something out.”

“He _wants_ to leave, Kine. And it’s best he goes now before it gets awkward.”

“After he came all this way?”

“I didn’t force him to come,” Izaya says. “And anyway, he doesn’t have to  _leave_. He can go sightseeing. He can take selfies with the cat.”

Kine rolls his eyes.

They hear Shizuo washing his hands, and don't speak again.

 “Do you want to go for a walk or something?” Izaya blurts when Shizuo comes out. He doesn’t know when he became so easily influenced. "I mean, I don't know how long you're staying, but I can show you the area. You can leave the cat here. Let him stretch his legs some more.”

Shizuo is staring at him. Then he shrugs and says,

"Sure."

-

“Oscar,” Izaya says, between licks of ice-cream. They are on the beach promenade overlooking the bridge.

“Huh?”

“The cat,” Izaya says, like it’s obvious. “Oscar is a good name. He has a devious look about him.”

“Oh. Sure, Oscar’s nice.”

“Or Kazuo, if you don’t want a western name. Or Haruki. Did someone talk you into coming?” he asks suddenly, and Shizuo takes a moment to keep up with him. “Like Shinra or your brother or someone?”

Shizuo thinks of the cat and goes red.

“Um, no, not really…why?”

“Just wondered."

-

“So when are you coming to visit?”

“What?” Izaya almost drops his chopsticks. Catching up over pretty much everyone and everything thathad happened in Ikebukuro had taken quite some time. They are just finishing dinner in a restaurant by the water, and had almost got comfortable with one another, until now, when Shizuo had inevitably put his foot in it. “I’m not visiting Iikebukuro, Shizuo.”

 “But what about your sisters? What about family?”

“My sisters have been here twice, and they’re leaving Ikebukuro anyway for college. And my parents are always travelling.”

“What about Shinra?”

“I haven’t spoken to Shinra since I left,” he says calmly. “I doubt he’ll ever speak to me again. And there’s really no-one else. I have everyone I need right here.”

He remembers Manami as he says this and feels a little sad. He needs more friends.

They finish their food in silence.

“Aren’t you pleased?” Izaya blurts, when he should really be changing the subject.

Shizuo frowns.

“Why do you care what I think?”

“I don’t, I just…wondered.”

Izaya insists on paying when they get their bill. The sun is setting on the ocean, and Izaya's glad the day is over. He stands a little too eagerly, and fire shoots up his slightly weaker leg.

"What's wrong?" Shizuo says with alarm, as he goes down as if he's been struck.

"Nothing," he hisses, trying to will himself through it. He can feel the eyes of the waiters and the other diners on him. It makes the pain ten times worse.

"Do you want me to- "

" _No_. It's nothing, it's just a cramp."

He quietens, mortified, as the pain fades away. Nothing like that has happened to him in months.  What timing.

“I’m all right,” Izaya sighs. “Sorry, I don’t know what happened. Must have pulled something.”

Even once he's recovered however, Shizuo is guilty and awkward and it completely kills the mood.

Izaya swallows, not wanting this trip ruined because of him and his stupid leg.

"Do you want to stop for a drink?" he says lightly. "It's still early. Kine will be there for the cat."

Shizuo hesitates. He's kind of tired, but he supposes one drink couldn't hurt.

-

Kine is long gone by the time they make it back.

The cat is fast asleep, curled on one of Izaya’s shelves. He doesn’t so much as twitch when they come in.

“You can crash here if you want, Shizu-chan.” Izaya offers. "It’d be a shame to move him.”

He had lapsed into calling him Shizu-chan again at some point, but it doesn't bug Shizuo the way it used to.

"Do you want another drink?"

They keep talking with the TV on low, easier now they've been drinking. Shizuo doesn't know if he's relieved or bitter at just how easy it is. If it has always been this easy to talk to Izaya, it means they had wasted a lot of time.

“We’ve been hanging out for almost 12 hours,” Izaya says idly. “We’ve done well.”

“You been watching the clock?”

He laughs softly.

“No.”

The cat wakes up and joins them on the couch.

“Hi, cat,” Izaya says, petting him.

“You still have to name him,” Shizuo tells him.

“I know, I know” he says. “I’m thinking.”

Shizuo strokes the cat. It might be the booze, but he's warm with a feeling of content. He's glad he came.

“I’m sorry too, Shizu-chan,” Izaya says now, as they’re falling asleep over the bottle and the TV. “Believe it or not.”

“Ah, that’s OK, Izaya-kun.”

“You can stay with me if you ever visit again,” he says, slurring his words slightly. “For a holiday or something. There are dolphins here in summer.”

“Thanks,” Shizuo says. “You should visit Ikebukuro too. Shinra would love to see you.”

“Shinra,” he says deliberately. “Hates me.”

“He doesn’t, Izaya, seriously. You know he doesn't hold a grudge. He stood up for you when that reporter came.”

Izaya goes very still.

“He did?”

“Yeah.”

“Really?”

“Yes. You should call him. His number hasn’t changed.”

“OK, I will, I will call him,” Izaya mumbles. He takes his phone out there and then, but Shizuo stops him gently.

“Maybe not now. It’s almost two in the morning.”

“It is?” He blinks a bit. “Why are we still up?”

“I don’t know.” Shizuo looks at the empty bottle. “We’ve been drinking and talking and playing with the cat.”

The cat jumps down as if guilty and disappears somewhere.

“Do you think you’ll ever leave Ikebukuro, Shizu-chan?”

Shizuo frowns.

“I never thought I could,” he says. “At least in Ikebukuro everyone's used to me. If I go somewhere else they’d probably arrest me and fine me as soon as I do something.”

 Izaya shifts on the couch beside him. Shizuo can tell he's not listening, that he's about to go to bed, if not outright pass out.

In his newfound calm and alcoholled state of mind, Shizuo leans over and kisses him.

Izaya also stays calm, still in an almost-drunk haze.

“Where did that come from, Shizu-chan?”

“I dunno. Sorry.”

“It’s OK. I quite liked it.”

-

“Why did you come, Shizuo?” Izaya asks him, while they’re fucking. He doesn't sound drunk anymore.

“I…I don’t know. I’m trying to figure it out.”

“Then how – ah – how will you know if you got what you want or not if you don’t know what you want?”

Shizuo groans, unable to concentrate.

“I…don’t know. It doesn’t matter. You always interrogate people in bed? ” He looks at Izaya’s beautiful face above him, eyes closed, contorted with effort. “Why did you let me come?”

“I just,” His rhythm wavers a little. “Wanted to. I used to…”

“What?” Shizuo says, feeling himself shake with urgency. “Used to what?”

“I used to, ah, like you. Like you a lot.” He speeds up his thrusts as he talks, as if to punctuate his words, losing his rhythm. “Maybe I, ah, still like you.”

Shizuo reaches up and touches his lips.

“Stop talking now.”

-

“Soseki,” Izaya says in the morning, in bed, which is approximately the 55th name. Considering it is apparently his first hangover in years, he is annoyingly chipper. “Edgar. Narita. Ryuzaki.”

Shizuo sighs, beginning to regret his generosity.

“It’s not a baby, Izaya-kun. Any name will do.”

“No, it won’t.”

The cat is lolling between them, oblivious to what has taken place between them.

“We were drinking poison all night and now we feel terrible,” Izaya tells the cat, tickling its stomach. "Can you make us some toast?"

"You can't tell him what to do if you can't even name him."

"You can't name him either."

"I'm not the one asking him for breakfast."

It is morning, they are still in bed together and they are still sort of flirting. It has been the weirdest night of Shizuo's life.

"How about something peaceful?" Izaya says now. "That kind of cat would do you good. Kouta, maybe. Or Yasu."

“Call him Simon.”

"He is definitely not a Simon."

“Or Dennis.”

“Don’t be horrible, Shizu-chan.” He thinks some more. "Toshi, maybe," he says. "He seems very wise. Or Arata. It means new or fresh. Like new beginnings, or a fresh start."

"That's great," Shizuo says, more to make Izaya shut up than anything else. His head is pounding, and he's prepared to settle with calling the cat Hitler at this stage. "Arata it is."

-

Shizuo has to get up eventually to check out of the hotel he'd spent half an hour in.

Izaya rubs foreheads with the cat before putting him back in the carrier.

“He really likes you,” Shizuo says, amused. “It took him ages to get close to me.”

“You probably set the standard of humans for him."

They straighten, avoiding each other's eyes.

“Let me know when you visit," Shizuo says, only half joking.

“I’m not visiting,” Izaya says, but he sounds less sure. “You should come back here sometime.”

“It might have to be sans cat. I don’t think he likes the carrier much.”

Izaya looks at the carrier like he expects the cat to argue.

Then he shrugs and sees him out.

"Bye, Shizu-chan. Have a good trip."

-

Kasuka phones him when he’s on the train. He'd been trying to process what happened, had given up and was now staring at the clouds out the window.

“How was it?”

“It was…OK," Shizuo says slowly. "We hung out. We had dinner. He said he was sorry. He was drunk when he said it, but still. He really liked the cat.”

“Wow,” Kasuka says. "That's quite a lot. Did you enjoy it?"

“Yeah," Shizuo says, feeling himself go red. He tells Kasuka how nice the city is to try and change the subject.

“You sound off,” Kasuksa says. “Are you sure it went all right?”

“Yeah, it did, it went really well. It just made me feel kind of funny. It shouldn’t be that easy to get on with him, y’know? If it is it means we’ve wasted a lot of time over the past 12 years or so.”

“Does it matter?” Kasuka says. “All that fighting was a waste of time however you look at it.”

“Hm...”

“Do you feel better overall?” Kasuka prompts. “Do you feel like you did what you needed to do?”

“Er…the thing is, I don’t really know what I needed to do in the first place. Now I’m just confused.”

“To have a conversation with him and put the past behind you?”

“But what does that even mean, putting the past behind me?”

“Well, for one thing you could stop associating him with the cat.”

Shizuo says nothing.

“Maybe you should get rid of the cat if it still reminds you of Izaya so much.”

“What?!” Shizuo says, as if Kasuka had suggested shooting it. A few of his fellow train passengers give him a nervous glance.

“It’s just an idea,” Kasuka says. “I suppose you could have even given it to him, seeing as you took it all that way.”

“But I love the cat,” Shizuo says, like a child.

“OK, OK, it was just a thought. Are you sure there's nothing else you want to tell me?"

“We had sex,” Shizuo adamits. The train passengers now are trying their very best to ignore him.

“Really?”

“We were drunk,” Shizuo says, like this excuses it. “I can’t really remember who instigated it. I’m guessing him because I never thought of him in that way before.”

“Are you sure? You didn’t just get drunk and fall asleep next to each other?”

“Oh, I’m sure. I’m really, really sure.”

"...Oh," Kasuksa says, with his usual indifference. “Are you going to see him again?”

"How?"

"Well, you did just buy a train ticket. I suppose you could do that again."

"Hm. He said I could visit. But he won't come here and, and it'd never work anyway. He’s all the way in Koto.”

“It’s barely an hour away, Shizuo.”

“Yeah but…the cat,” Shizuo says lamely.

Kasuka rolls his eyes on the other end of the phone.

-

Izaya is bored.

Kine had rather tactfully not mentioned Shizuo since he left, and Izaya can't help bringing him up himself.

“I should invite Shizu-chan to come again,” he says to Kine, swivelling in his wheelchair. He sits in it for fun now, treating it as a state of the art office chair that he mostly used for swivelling. “He seemed to like it here.”

“Hm. But you can’t expect him to come every time.”

"What do you mean, every time?" Izaya says defensively, no longer swivelling. "I don't mean a lot. I just mean as a one off, in a few months or so."

Kine just looks at him.

“If you’re interested in someone, you don’t leave it for a few months or so, Izaya.”

“You do when they’re in another city and they used to be your worst enemy,” Izaya says, swivelling again in thought. “He might not even want to come back. And I’m not interested in him.”

“Perhaps you can take it in turns,” Kine suggests, sighing inwardly, starting to understand why Shiki had referred to Izaya as a dangerous child. “I’m going to Ikebukuro in a few weeks for a catch up with Shiki,” he says. “Why don’t you come along?”

“Shiki wouldn’t let me come.”

“He will if I ask him.”

Izaya doesn't answer. He supposes he can think about it.

-

“Izaya-kun. I need you to take the cat.”

"What?" Izaya hadn't known what to expect when Shizuo called, but it hadn't been this. “What do you mean?”

“My landlord found out about him. I’m not actually allowed pets in my building.”

“Shizuo, you idiot,” Izaya groans. “Give him to Kasuka.”

“I can’t, he’s always travelling for his films. Celty and Shinra aren’t allowed pets in their building either. Tom’s allergic. And I don’t want him to go to anyone I don’t know that well.”

“So move.”

“I will, but the landlord wants him out this week. I can’t find a new place that time.”

Izaya hesitates.

"I might actually be coming to Ikebukuro this week with someone anyway," he says casually.

"Great!" Shizuo says. Then he says, "What do you mean, with someone?"

"With my butler," he says sardonically.

"Oh," Shizuo says, sounding sheepish.

Izaya opens up his laptop.

"I suppose we could find some pet friendly accommodation."

-

Shizuo brings the cat to said accommodation when Kine is out with Shiki.

He and Izaya look at each other edgily, feeling somehow different now they're facing each other in Ikebukuro, as if the air's charged with something.

Shizuo looks away first and shuts the door behind him, stooping to let Arata out of his carrier.

"Thank you for this," Shizuo tells him, as Izaya picks the cat up and cuddles him.

"Hi, Arata. How've you been? Did you know you were an illegal squatter in Shizu-chan's apartment?" He looks at Shizuo over the cat's head. "I've got my laptop if you want to look at apartments. How did you manage to keep the cat for so long, anyway?"

"It's more of a question of how I got caught. My landlord never comes over. But anyway, my lease is coming up soon, it's like it was meant to be. I've been meaning to move since I got a pay rise working with Tom. I've just been lazy."

He sits beside Izaya on the edge of the bed, sipping the tea he'd put out for him.

“Where will you move to?” Izaya asks casually. Arata gives a wriggle, so he lets him scamper off.

“I don’t know. All apartments are expensive in this city, but pet friendly ones are ridiculous.”

“You could always move further out,” Izaya suggests lightly. "Do you really like living downtown?"

"No, not really, it's just cheap and convenient."

He looks at Izaya's open laptop, his head filled with apartments and cats and landlords, before seeming to remember where he is. He closes the laptop and pulls Izaya to him.

-

Shizuo goes to Kasuka with his dilemma in between apartment hunting, the dilemma that almost trumped finding a new home for himself and the cat.

“It’s easy," Kasuka explains patiently. "You go out there as often as you want, once a week, once a month. He’ll start coming here more as he realises no-one’s out to get him and as you get closer. Then, over time, the novelty will probably wear off and it'll fizzle out. And if it doesn't, you'll just do what everyone else does.”

“What’s that?”

“Move in together. _Way_ down the line, that is,” Kasuka clarifies, as Shizuo chokes on his tea.

"You make it sound so normal."

“It is normal, Shizuo. For now, the most you have to worry about is the train fare."

 _"And_ finding a new place to live."

"And that."

Shizuo sighs. Moving on was hard.


End file.
